I Fear too

I wouldn’t write a third person narrative that has all the crafts of a perfectly knitted plot with a plethora of superfluous descriptions here, and oomph of an unsettling climax there. No, today at least, I am in no mood for you to read in my grandiose writing tactics or moral bearing sentences. Today, we will talk. We will talk about the fears we are holding on to. Holding on to since sanity first prevailed to us.

Talk about those infant young interwoven thoughts, thoughts that turned into a crescendo of dreams, dreams that now are obsessions. Obsessions which you now at times fear to have, or at times fear to lose. Obsessions which convulse you shake you, break you. Obsessions that in their simplicity, are beautiful and precious to you, yet you fear them because you know it, you fear too.

Right now, to quite a few of you, it must seem as if I am ranting. As if something as intangible as fears is just a blatant immaterial human emotion, whose existence can be countered by our adrenaline levels. But come on, face it, this isn’t even true, because you very aptly know that you fear too. Just right now, I recoiled all your fears into a discreet single thought. So get out of that defiance mode, because we’re on the same page. Wait. What? We are not? Okay then, we can be.

You there, with that sculpted bearded jaw line; I heard your favorite color is pink. Oh wait, what? But you have never worn it?! Oh right. Its because of those other bearded alleged ruffians that you cant admit you like pink, hence you can’t wear it. What a pity.
And you there, with the most amazing vocals, I heard you like to make speeches, but oh wait, you’re not supposed  to speak that loud, because they like you better as a dressed up Chinese doll with no teeth. What a shame indeed. Hence, you have stopped speaking now.

Hahahha, you’re the funniest one here because I was told that you dream. You dream a lot. And what’s funny is that you dream but you don’t sleep. So they were asking, how exactly do you dream while you’re not sleeping.  I thought you will tell them how do you do that, but I heard, you yourself for some reason, found it uncanny as well, and stopped doing it so. Truly is ridiculous, huh.

Hey, you with all things right in the world, and that popping chest filled with idealism and undying optimism, I heard, you never confessed to the girl you loved, that you actually loved her. What in the world, made you think that a cupid would be set off, a decade from now, hitting arrows on both of you? What made you think, that even if the arrows were hit right, she would be there, waiting, and if not her, your idolized version of a VS model would be available and would be as befitting as her?  Sorry, I doubt your idealism.

Oh but you with that itchy shawl on the head, why are you walking with such petrified footsteps. I know its dark. I know the stout lousy morons right behind you are gawking at you like hawks. But why are you sweating? it is just the weather?  Oh wait, You feel your fidelity is in danger? Oh wow..

And you. your hair, I feel, they are lessening with time. Haha, well my gut says, it more of your chronic OCD’s and specialization in prioritizing life like a timeline, than increasing age. I was told you once flunked a subject, and later faced reams of rejections from elsewhere. Hence you automatically have developed compulsive disorders over the time, and now you’re planning to go bald? Am I right? wait, please, before blocking me, tell me..

Uhh. Its nice that I see you all a little humiliated, a little ashamed, a little despondent, yet a little freed at the moment? Oh what? Did I just disclose all your fears?  I am insanely glad if I did that. I am glad if I took off the façade of defiance on your faces. I am glad if you now accept that it’s okay to be a guy and like pink. I am glad if you now accept that it’s okay to be a girl and be relentlessly opinionated. I am glad if you now accept that it’s okay to dream irrespective of how irrational and idealistic they might sound. I am glad if you now accept that its okay to confess your feelings of love and respect to someone. I am glad if you now accept that it’s okay to fear rape. I am glad if you now accept that it’s okay to see failures and rejections in life. I am glad if you now accept your fears. Because you and I fear too. Because We all fear.

‘Do one thing everyday that scares you.’


4 thoughts on “I Fear too

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